Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize