Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
