I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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