he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
