if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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