you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
