you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
