Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
