i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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