it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just tell him i said nine months
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
