Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
