He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
