the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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