i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize