Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
