but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize