Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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