Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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