I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
