Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
