went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
