my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
