i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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