let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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