Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
