"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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