so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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