I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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