Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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