they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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