Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Your penis caused this!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
