I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
