You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
