bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
