we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
