Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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