This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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