I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
