Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
