I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
