Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
