Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
