Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
