it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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