Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so explain again why im purple
no
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
