They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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