yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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