come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
