No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
