Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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