Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
