you traded sex for a burrito?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
