Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
