I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
