YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
