I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
