hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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