How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
There's even glitter on my cock...
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