Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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