I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
