I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
