I hate all girls vehemently.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
