Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize