Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
